I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
