All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and she was petting her beer can
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize