what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
