Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Green mimosas i think yes
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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