i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
