Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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