I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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