My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
