My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
