drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
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I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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