Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize