Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
