i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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