my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize