Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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