apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
