conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
