in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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