I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
