Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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