I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
