I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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