I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
