dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
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