ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
