Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
