My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
