Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
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I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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