why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize