Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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