I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
