I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
