our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
