how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
