I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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