Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
bring money and cleavage
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize