she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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