I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
