If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
