I wanna passion pit in your ass
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
don't judge my taste in strippers
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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