So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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