so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
