Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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