You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
