You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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