At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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