ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
