I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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