I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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