If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
