everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
