Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
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Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I did not marry a roomba.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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