WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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