Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
