he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
