Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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