did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
