remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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