Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
